Do as I say...And as I do

The old saying goes, "Do as I say, not as I do." It is usually brought up when mom or dad are looking to teach a lesson while acknowledging that how they act as the adult just perhaps doesn't align with the moral of the story they are trying to teach their kids.

I get that since I'm far from perfect. "Be nice to your brother!" I admonish each boy through gritted teeth.

After all, parenting by double standards is just sometimes how it goes...but should it?

While my headline "Do as I say...And as I do" sounds like how good parenting should go, instead this week it is a lesson in morality.

Where I work people need a membership or need to buy a day pass to use the building. Members need to be 12 years old to be in the building without an adult.

In the past few weeks there have been parents direct their child to lie about their age and lie about having a membership to our staff. There have been parents stand in front of our employees and lie right to their face with their child next to them. Parents have tried to sneak their children into the building.

When our employees called the parents out on these lies, some parents apologized - is it because they are legitimately sorry for their dishonesty or just because they got caught? Likely the latter.

Other parents when faced with their lie, got defensive and tried to justify what they said and did. They are completely in the wrong and still try to make it a fault of ours.

It blows my mind that parents would really tell their child to blatantly lie to someone. It isn't a matter of life or death here, it's over a matter of paying $3, it's about being able to use a certain area of the building, or about needing a parent to be with the youth or not while in the building.

Yikes.

So it brings about the question of what kind of lessons are we teaching our kids? Teaching them to lie to just get what they want - what kind of morality is this? Immorality. It is blatantly immoral. Liken it to teaching our kids to badmouth others out of jealousy or spite, or stealing, maybe today's lesson will be about taking credit for other people's work or passing the buck. Stay tuned for tomorrows lesson on how to cut corners and other self-serving strategies.

Parents, you are directly responsible to help guide the morals of your children. While we can only do what we can do, don't intentionally set them up for a lifetime of immoral choices! We as a society struggle enough as it is; we don't need parents (who from the stories I mentioned I thought were "good parents") teaching immorality through "Do as I say and as I do." Modeling immoral behaviors is a sure fire way to get your kids onboard with the same behaviors.

Instead, please teach morality through this very same philosophy. Model moral behaviors that you and your child can stand proud practicing. "You aren't 12 years old yet, I'm sorry Billy, you'll have to wait until an adult can go with you. No, Jenny, we don't have a membership, here's $3 so you can buy a day pass. I know you're only 13 Jess, you'll just need to wait another year to use the fitness center, the machines just aren't made for younger kids."

Parents how can you model the very behaviors you yearn to see in your child as they become young adults and then grown? Are you going to stand proud behind the liar who scammed their way through life, or will you stand proud behind a moral, good person? Teach compassion, kindness, honesty, a hard work ethic, generosity, patience, accepting responsibility, positive communication, and manners....

Teach these moral lessons by your example, teach them by "Do as I say and as I do!" You'll hold your head higher for it. ❤️

- Brianne ❤️

Be a part of the solution, not of the problem.

#back2younow

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